You don’t have to struggle with:

• • Thinking and feeling responsible for other people- their feelings, actions, thoughts, wants, choices, needs, lack of well-being, and wants.

  • Expressing my feelings will only be used against me.

  • Make sure everyone is pleased and happy with you.

  • You cannot fail. Struggling must mean I must try harder and do more.

  • Not know what you want and need or, if you do, tell yourself it is not important.

  • Feel angry, victimized, unappreciated , and used.

  • Overcommit yourself.

  • Passive-aggressiveness

  • Lying / half-truths

  • Resentment

  • Feel ashamed of who you are.

  • Try to help people live their lives, instead of living your own.

  • Believe other people could not possibly like or love you.

  • Push your thoughts and feelings out of your awareness because of fear, guilt, or shame.

  • Feel terribly anxious about problems and people.

  • Focus all your energy on other people and problems.

  • Try to control events and people through helplessness, guilt, coercion, threats, advice-giving, manipulation, or domination.

  • Look for happiness outside of yourself.

  • Try to prove your good enough to be loved.

  • Lose interest in your own life when you love.

  • Stay in relationships that do not work.

  • Blame

  • Advise, continually offering unsolicited advice

  • Indirect communication

  • Try to say what you think will please others.

  • Eliminated the word no from your vocabulary.

  • Do not trust yourself.

  • Lose faith and trust in God.

  • Feel very scared, hurt, and angry.

  • Repress your angry feelings.

  • Act hostile, or have violent angry outbursts.

  • Become a martyr, sacrificing your happiness and that of others for causes that do not require sacrifice.

  • Have an overall passive response when upset - crying, hurt, helpless.

  • Have an overall aggressive response when upset - violent, anger, dominance.

  • Vacillate in decisions and emotions.

  • Ashamed about family, personal, or relationship problems.